Marzipan: My Worst Nightmare

We’ve all been there, you’re given a beautiful box of chocolates only to discover that there is no piece of paper to distinguish what chocolates you’re about to eat. This could be my greatest pet peeve of all time. I despise these careless chocolatiers that do not include a sheet who do not understand the repercussions of this horrid deed. These men and women are my mortal enemies and they do not know the harm they have done me. 

I can still remember to this day that vile moment when I first laid eyes on that chocolate; a perfectly round, dark brown ball of joy. For some reason it was the one chocolate that was calling out to me, as if I had to eat it. Little did I know that this chocolate was pure and utter evil.

 Upon inspection, I picked it up and examined it’s texture. It was smooth and fragile yet felt extremely solid at the same time, as if it had a strong inner core. It’s scent was reminiscent of a blend of cocoa and coffee beans. After holding it in my hand for several moments, it was time to take a bite. This is when it all went wrong. 

With that first, disgusting bite I felt the irritating rush of a sensation my taste buds had never experienced before, it was marzipan. Shocked, I proceeded to chew on the chocolate gagging at every bite. The marzipan’s sticky, pasty and Play Dough-like texture immediately made me want to spit out this vile treat immediately. As the chocolate melted and blended with the marzipan the most horrendous, sludge-like and slimy creation was formed in my mouth, it was pure agony. 

Eventually, I mustered up the courage to swallow this unfortunate mess in my mouth, regretting each and every moment the dreadful morsel of chocolate was inside of me. Once I swallowed, the most horrid and disgusting after-taste of overly-sweet almonds being gang raping poor, innocent chocolate lingered in my mouth. I knew I had to something, I ran to the nearest sink and proceeded to wash the terrible taste from my mouth. After a few swishes of water in my mouth, the nightmare was over. 

Standing in front of my kitchen-sink, I swore to myself I would never let this one go, I vowed to make sure marzipan would get the best of me again. From that day on, I made it my obligation to inform others of the hazards of marzipan and it’s horrid taste. 

To those of you wondering: yes, I am aware that there were people out there who actually liked marzipan. However, that is their opinion and this is my opinion. I hate marzipan and can honestly say that I would not wish it on even the most heinous of people, for it is truly that horrible.